Quaker Pagan Reflections: Cat's Spiritual Journey, Part XII: This Forgiveness Stuff
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Sunday, January 04, 2009
Sunday, November 30, 2008
From out of the Darkness
I look out
Peering to the daylight
From within my own cave
A modern day cave dweller
I stomp my feet, pound my fists
Nothing
Not a sound
Not even
An echo
So hungry
But if I go out
Out of my cave
My safe place
Will the light
Burn me
I have been burned
Before
I Wonder
I wonder why
Wonder of all
Wonder when
Wonder how
Wonder of all things
Wonder now
Wonder of woman
Not a wonder man
Wonder of god
Wonder of sorrow
No wonder
Wonderful
Wonder less
I wonder away
Wonder-lust
No wonder in my life
Wonder if I am missed
Wonder if I’ll be missed
Wonder if
I wonder
Oh Joy
In all ways uncommon to my life
I try to find you, but you are absent in the wake of my days
Simple, is my mind
I think of you often, in those hours of the sleepless nights
I must so often endure in a cold bed
I seek warmth in you
You that is not present to me in my time of need
Dark and cloudy horizons loom
Drifting clouds of doubt and frustration linger
When the rain comes I am to melt in sadness and fear
Beneath a sun that is black in spirit
Oh my life
Why have you forsaken me to this, a non person?
A shell
Empty and void
Joy
Oh joy
When will you come to me?
I want to sing with you
To shout from the mountain and proclaim my happiness in knowing you
But my voice is shallow and muted
The lyrics of you elude me
Pestilence would be something to see
Deep within
Joy
Oh joy
Come to me
Bring me the peace of ages
Bring me my quiet slumber
Nay, not death I speak of
But the gentle sleep of angelic dreaming
The time when I can be happy
And in delight of my days
I cry sometimes
Sometimes I cry out
Time flies... too fast
I am so slow
Weighted down and burdened
By my own self loathing
Pity me, myself and I
The 3 of us are undone
By our own
Hand
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